I Love the Beach in the warmth of the summer, but again, I find myself having to push back memories. I fear I will be faced with alot of memories through out the summer months.
I am trying to find "new memories" to replace the steamy ones that Shaun and I shared.
From the moment I pulled into the parking lot, these memories flooded my heart, I can remember the exact spot, we parked in, the exact spot we spread out our blanket. I pushed myself, every step of the way.
Something I enjoyed so freely has turned into a phobia, I must face and conquer to get on with my life. Everything from a hot breeze, to the sound of the lake on the shore. That day, the beach was full of people, yet we were so consumed with each other, it seemed as though we were alone.
We laid on that blanket enjoying not only the heat of the sun, but the heat and passion between us. tender touches, that sent a cool chill through me, kisses so soft, and a desire that filled our eyes so much, I'm certain, everyone on that beach knew exactly how we felt about each other.
We layed on that blanket until the heat and passion became to much. We had to venture into the water assuming it would relieve some of the heat.
Holding and touching each other in the water, may have diffused some external sparks, but the internal bond between us only grew uncontrollable. With my arms and legs wrapped around him, we moved in slow, sultry circles, creating such a mesmerizing feeling in the water. We lost sight of everyone and everything around us. We made love so passionately, our hearts became intertwined with our souls. I know neither of us had ever experienced a passion that strong. It was the day our heart and souls truly connected.
I'm sure we both expected to be able to enjoy those moments for a lifetime. Now almost a year later, I would give anything to be able to forget. There are days when I pray, the events that broke us, never happened, Although the world saw the love between us, we became ignorant to it, allowing our stubbornness work it's way into our love, tearing it apart. Maybe it was more than anyone was ready for....
Facing memories like this, seems to be hardening my heart, because my heart was so consumed by the Love that Shaun and I shared.
