With the warmer weather comes many memories. These memories were once sweet, now they only haunt me. Last night I walked outside and between the stillness of the night, the smell of fresh blooms, and the humidity after a good rain... a flood of emotions hit me! Will I ever be able to enjoy these nights again? Just when I think I'll be OK, another memory is triggered by something we once shared together.
This one was an evening on a blanket in an open field, the same scent, the same atmosphere. After a full day of anticipating each other, we enjoyed making love that night as we laid on a blanket admiring the stars in the sky, they always seemed to shine brighter for us. Occasionally we would even catch a glimpse of a shooting star. Holding each other, talking about our future. All the sweetness, admiration, and love between us always overwhelmed me. It was so perfect between us... almost like every creature felt that love and the universe affirmed it. Often, I would get very quiet just trying to take it all in, every word, every touch, every kiss, the look in his eyes, the smell of new blooms, fresh cut grass, the stillness in the air, the rustle of wildlife. Every sweet thing was absorbed and locked away in my heart to cherish forever.
Now it has become poison to my heart. Each time one of those memories becomes unlocked, it races straight through my veins and batters my heart, with the reminder that we lost each other.
