I never thought I would have fallen so hard in love with a man the way I did with him...
My heart was alive for the first time in a very long time. We fell in love so deeply. It's hard to believe it's been a year, and so much has changed. After waiting 10 years, The passion and desire was overbearing! It ended to quickly. It ended badly. and he had the nerve to say "maybe in another 10 years"?
Shaun, you made me feel like I was nothing with out you, you hurt me, you avoided responsibility, you just turned your back.
How could you say, "no one will ever love you as much as I do" and yet do all those awful things?
I will never understand, how someone who claimed to be such a good man, could act the way you have.
I hope someday you feel all the deep rooted pain and heartache you have caused so many people. I hope someday you feel the anxiety of loving and missing someone so much, that you shake uncontrollably, that you can't eat, you literally get sick at the thought of them loving someone else. That you have to deal with a situation they contributed to and refused to take responsibility for.
I hope you someday you'll know what it's like to walk around in a haze, to miss out on days of our life because the sadness from your broken heart, won't let you concentrate on anything in your life. I hope you are judged and ridiculed by your friends , family members, and complete strangers, for continuing to love that person and hang on to the hope that they will come back to you, even after they hurt you so deeply and obviously moved on so quickly. I hope someday you know the fear of running into them, or seeing them with someone else, to the point that you shut yourself out from the world.
I hope someday you hear all the bad, disrespectful lies they have said about you, after saying they loved you. I hope you feel the crushing pain of being told that they don't want you, that they don't love you. All within a matter of a week.
I hope you feel all this for months after a break up. The only thing that hurts me more, is knowing I can never repay you with that kind of hurt!!
It has been 3 months, and not a day goes by that I don't think of you, wondering why we gave up. Not a day goes by, that I pray I don't run into you, not a day goes by, that I don't have to pretend I'm OK. Not a day goes by, that I don't think about the life we may have had together, and all the promises you made to me. Not a day goes by, that I have to deal with knowing we could have had a family if it weren't for your selfishness. Not a day goes by, that I have to change the radio station because music was such a big part of our relationship.
The one thing I cling to everyday, is that someday I will be over you. Someday I will find the man of my dreams, the one man, that can love me more than you!
