This is for the Broken - Hearted...
I know how you feel...
Empty, betrayed,totally void of all happiness. You don't want to laugh, because it won't help anyway, but you don't want to cry because it just makes you feel worse. You feel like your heart is just falling apart, and soon you feel as though your life is falling apart too.
You think it will never end, and no matter what he has done to you, it seems impossible to stop loving him.
Everyone wonders how you can still love him so much, after all the hurt he caused you. Your mind is just as confused by this, you don't know why... you just do.
The one person with the power to make you happier than you have ever been, can also create the worst heartache you could ever imagine...
For me, it was you, Shaun. You were the Best and the Worst for me.
A few weeks go by, and you begin to feel a false sense of relief, as though you are finding happiness again. When really, all you're doing is finding substitutes that don't measure up. Deep inside, you realize you're going into denial.
I tell myself everyday, "I don't Love You, I don't Miss You" ...
Maybe someday, my heart will believe my mind...
After a few weeks, you realize.... your eyes still fill with tears, and your soul is still empty...
You hoped you were over him, when all you did was to stop showing it...
When you love that deeply, and get hurt... the wound might eventually heal, but the scar never goes away.
No one really understands how deeply you hurt, and for how long you carry it around with you.
Months down the road, the feeling starts to overwhelm you, and you suddenly break down again, the tears start to flow, and you just don't care... You've spent so many familiar nights, lying awake haunted by the pain.
In the midst of it all, you know it's not helping. It's not going to bring him back, even if you truly had him in the first place.
You hear yourself say, " I don't know why I hang on to something, I know I am better off letting go of." It's as though I'm afraid of losing, what I didn't truly have in the first place.
You'll see him, and feel all the emotion overwhelm you, Your heart will jump, Your mind screams out his name, You want him to love you again. But, for some reason he doesn't see it, he doesn't hear you. Just when you think you are moving on, you remember all the reasons you hung on for so long.
It hurts to see someone you love, ignore you, or say he doesn't want you, or that he doesn't love you. It hurts even more, knowing he really did, yet he still walked away. His pride was bigger than his Love for you. How could one person have done this to you? How could you love someone so much, yet hate him for breaking your heart?
With a clenched throat, and burning eyes, you try to hold back once again. Everyone says, "you'll be Ok". The truth is, you will.... but not for a long time.
It's hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone, when your heart still does. You'd like to believe that if you can't get someone out of your mind, they are meant to be there...
After awhile, the last tear finally falls, you pull yourself together and keep pushing on. There will always be the name I can't bear to hear spoken.
It is hard for me to live without you. I often wonder, is it hard for you to be without me too?
The pain does pass... in time....
The hardest thing about following your heart, is that people forget to mention that sometimes the heart takes you to places you shouldn't be.
Places that are as scary, as they are exciting. As dangerous as they are alluring. Your heart doesn't always take you to places that lead to happy endings.
That's not even the difficult part; the difficult part is when you follow your heart, you leave all that is normal; you go into the unknown and once you do you can never go back.
