The First Step is the hardest...

Heartbreak can hold you back by:

• Affecting other areas of your life
• Diminishing your self-confidence
• Making you question your decisions

About a year after my Break up , I fell to the bathroom floor in a full out panic attack. The memory of my break up was still very fresh. I decided right then and there it had been long enough. I knew I had to search out the solution to healing a broken heart, because I didn’t buy the old adage that “time heals all wounds.” It certainly didn’t for me. I decided it was time to climb back up from that bathroom floor and find the life that I knew still awaited me.

You Can Fool Your Family and Friends, but You Can’t Fool Yourself.

Mentally check off the things you’ve found yourself thinking lately:

• “I have a knot in the pit of my stomach all day long – an actual physical pain.”
• “I either cannot eat at all or when I DO eat I eat everything I can to try to make me feel better.”
• “I know our relationship had problems, but I still have a feeling of overwhelming loss.”
• “I check my messages every 5 minutes – I’m not sure what I’m expecting, but I expect something.”
• “I keep trying to figure out when it really went wrong.”
• “The thought of dating again is absolutely inconceivable to me.”
• “I lie in bed thinking this was not suppose to be the way my life turned out.”
• “I lie in bed thinking I cannot believe this is happening to me at this stage and age in my life.”

borrowed from Amelie Chance

How long will it be before you can get through your daily routine without feeling the wave of pain sweep over you, without sensing that knot in the pit of your stomach, and without dwelling on what went wrong? If these are some of the questions you are asking yourself, you are not alone.

A broken heart can cause such an intense reaction that you may feel your life has been completely stripped of meaning. Jobs, hobbies, and friends may no longer hold any joy. In fact, some of us even experience physical pain with a tight chest, nervous stomach, or terrible insomnia. “Time heals all wounds” is something we have all heard over the years, but do you really have to wait for time to heal these wounds? Absolutely not. There are steps you can take to alleviate the pain you feel. These steps were developed by people who have endured the pain of a difficult break-up and sought a better way to heal.

When your Heart and mind disagree...

You are sitting with your cell phone staring at a text message you wrote to your ex hours ago. You debate whether to send it or not. You stare at your phone while your mind tells you to have more respect for yourself. You logically understand that sending the message is not going to make the situation any better – nor will it heal your pain. Then your heart enters the scene and overpowers your mind. Your heart says, “Go ahead, send it, you will feel better…temporarily at least.”

During the Relationship

Your heart says, “This relationship is everything I need.”
Your mind says, “There are red flags here that I shouldn’t ignore.”

When one partner in a relationship is not happy, they usually provide indications either verbally, in the form of passive-aggressive behavior, or via non-verbal actions of their discontent. If you are the other partner that is madly in love, you do actually receive the red flags as signals in your mind. Unfortunately, your heart overpowers your logic in this case. Your heart speaks so loudly about how in love you are and how perfect everything is, that you drown out the messages your mind has received.

Eventually, after the break up, it is easier to see the red flags were present in your relationship. You also may realize that some of the reason you were deeply attached to your ex was because you loved the idea of being in love. If you relate to this scenario, remember, you deserve a love with equal give and take. Reciprocity is essential to the success of a relationship and you should never have to convince someone to love you as much as you love them.

After the Break Up

Your mind says, “I am going to be okay. In fact, before long, I’m going to feel like myself.”
Your heart says, “The pain is excruciating, I don’t think I will ever feel at peace again.”

After your break up, if you sit quietly and listen to your inner voice, you will hear hope inside. This hope is telling you that you will feel better, that you will live life once again with passion, and that you will experience love once again. The information you are being sent from your mind is based on your history and the fact that you have overcome obstacles in the past. Your mind remembers the times where you have faced adversity and have come out on the other side stronger and brighter. Your heart is speaking out of fear; listen to your mind – it has a strong basis for giving you hope.

Listen to words from friends, family, and counselors even if they do not feel like they are helping to heal your broken heart. Every single word helps. Listen to every word someone with experience has to tell you. Up until now, we haven’t discussed the subconscious mind. Positive messages to your subconscious mind can overpower negative ones from your heart. Everything you are reading and listening to about healing is entering your subconscious and will help you heal faster.

Please note, the situation can certainly occur in reverse. Your heart may experience genuine love yet have seeds of doubt planted by an insecure mind. In either situation, if you are looking to heal your heartache from your current break up, please know it is possible.

“It’s impossible.” said pride.
“It’s risky.” said experience.
“It’s pointless.” said reason.
“Give it a try.” whispered the heart.”

Maybe true love is a decision. You know, a decision to take a chance with somebody. To give to somebody. Without worrying whether they’ll give anything back. Or if they’re gonna hurt you, or if they really are the one. Maybe love isn’t something that happens to you. Maybe it’s something you have to choose.
We all want the "fairytale love", but maybe we have to decide to what that really is for us....

Here I Go!!

It's a New Year! I have so many aspirations for this year...
About 2 years ago, I was burdened with a vast amount of emotional and health issues. It has been a slow process of healing, but this year I feel I am finally ready to move on and refocus my life.
Among my aspirations, are the usual weight loss & good health. And of course continuing the work on family relations with my siblings, and being a better mother to my children. Some of my higher hopes and dreams include finishing my book, building up my catering business, work on my vocal training and doing a bit of singing again.
I have to give some credit to my friends for lifting me up, being there with their sweet encouraging words, and showing me that I don't need a man to validate the kind of woman I have always been.
I have re-arranged my priorities, so the flow of my life and my happiness can be at it's best!!